Day 1

( I won't complain about how the dopeness & artisticness of the way
I wrote this and made art out of words on paper got ruined because its a blogspot...
nope nope I won't)

Ode To My Future Ex. Lover

To my, would be, future
Ex Lover:

Something is telling me to write you foreal,
for once

For times
When I remember
But fearful you might know I’ve gotten good at this

I am teaching myself to remember
Once again
That I have, by fault
Failure,

Or fruition of
first loving self
Forgotten
once
Before

Today,
I am nothing
Existing as
Nothing worthy of being called nothing
An illusion you will soon forget

You
Will soon forget
Because I have been cursed with asking you to do so
You
Love
Too
Much

Today I am nothing
existing in
what will be,
what has been
I have been
I
half past
been

Praying
to the day that will make me nothing

To the:
“We have met once before”
Sounding like
Predicting the future
Speaking it into existence
And in all its redundancy
Forcing you to wonder
Why it took you so long
To talk
To speak
Like this,

Silently

The way I want to ask you
If I still exist
in the silent swish
of your closing eyelids
Eyelashes
in the silent movement of new thoughts,
Whose curling ways
Hint:--
Everything cyclic
Say,
“Come back, you’ve been here before”
to prove I never left
The way I want to

The way I want to ask you
If I still exist

in the moments
your aren’t afraid
to dream anymore

Would you
Breathe
a little
Faster
(Faster)

Remember our mess
the mess we’ve made
the mess we’ll make
think a little less

Love cant hold you
Loving you
knowing you

Wont delve years into the future and hold her tighter

Wont love you,
knowing this is the last time
you will find her like this way
see her this way

This way
This

And don’t
And don’t
And don’t

Daydream
And don’t daydream
Stop repeating
Repeating
Repeating is
Is
Is is
Remembering
Like cycles

when you deserve to forget me
or your head wont stop spinning
Spinning
spinning cycles
so don’t daydream
on mornings when
coffee is hot
and not making up for nights that are not

You’ve loved me before
You will remember
how forgetful you once were
how forgettable you are not
How you are not forgetting
or even remembering that I told you

On mornings when you will have
nothing,
ask for….

On morning when you will have
nothing more to ask for
But will want to,
to forget,
remember
that you have lost something

Only reminiscing on me vaguely
and I am
all
but the
illusion you have made and
miss
wanting
to forget

Torment,
Yes…
it looks

Like
……………………This

A man
with an anachronistic gaze in his spirit

Sipping deep coffee
That’s not
enough reflecting
of
mirroring lights of love in his eyes
and seems
to
not match up to

the beauty of his daydreams

he misses wanting to forget

Even
still it
sits like
…………………..This

is a lot easier lost than faith

Don’t look for me in the morning
The sun will be disappointing
And only bring you closer to me
Disappointment molds faith

And you are still remembering
Loving
too much to obey me

Suicidal thoughts
Masochist of mind
Molding me of
self love
loathe
and pity

Pretending you don’t know
that hearts are made for breaking
making
the sound of destruction
once they gain everything
they’ve been waiting for
once they don’t need
to have hope anymore

Heaven
cant get you as high
when life isn’t worth leaving
When dreams aren’t for making
but of living
When lines
separating imagination
get blurred
near bounds of reality
When eyes seen open
are closed
When open eyes see the same scenes
as when they are closed
…..And
eyelashes…..

thoughts like these
don’t teleport dreams
past places like these

where I could have forgotten

I am nothing ,
again..
back at word one,

spinning in
circles in
ciphers in
cycles
Tumbling
too fast
into what should be
to step back and realize

that this is just me
Being nothing, again
back at word one
spinning
in circles

Passing past 10
steps into the future
coming back to the past of it that this is,
that has past
that must have passed
to present itself,

the sacrifice of reincarnation a moment gives to eternity

me, writing
remembering that you were
never good at listening
or forgetting
me
sitting in the solace of myself
helping
you write me

If the future
could
fall
i
n
t
o
Lung collapsing
love


if the

f
u
t
u
r
e


c
o
u
l
d

F
A
L
L
If the future
Could fall in love

If the future
could make love

If the future could fall asleep
and dream
It would sound,
Like us,

Nothing