On this day in History...

a queen was born

and she

was...

and she

is...

day25. bimbamboom( numbering these almost feels Wrong now)

She's Ugly II

M.R

takes friendship out of

depth and comfort zones for me

washed up beauty queen

no make up on

sitting across from me

doing make up work

neither of us thinking

She's ugly

both of us paranoid

that the other is

She's ugly...

She's Beautiful

day24?

um.. yes def just started another epic series (this time on purpose..i guess..whoops)

She's Ugly I

Hands calloused,

holding on to the things

you have done and said..

reaching for the people

you have loved(and lost)...

is hard work

face softened by the things

that she has denied seeing,

there is a thin line between baby faced

and brashly polished...

gleaming nevertheless

no one hesitates to kiss her face

thinking as they may

that there is nothing

but the beauty of

a woman with

untransferable history

to fear there

be that as it may...

but there will always be the question of

who will hold

those hands of hers

She's ugly

Day What ever what have you... 23

The Women I love Continue to be my greatest inspiration

Booming voice
tinted eyes
A girl stands on a stage
with a voice she wished she owned
off it

She wont remember she was here
...hence the witnesses
Women like us
find ourselves
On stages
to realize
just how lost we are

Dearest sister,
(self)
Will you remember you were here
Will you remember where you have been
Will you remember;
Where you were going
and that you havent gotten there yet

An empty black stage
"no larger than a twin bed"
An empty
black space

and
a blinding beam of light
from where the universe grabbed her
spotlight
too close to see too far out of
too close to the sun and stars

and
a girl,
who cant see
who she is
where she is going
or where she has been

orbiting around what she thinks
is her own headspace
beaming with the emissions
of crashing light within her,

stands on a stage
stands in the middle of the universe
wondering why her audience
is starring so intently
at what she perceives to be nothing
but a vast amount of empty space

My dearest love,
you are so much more
than you know
indeed a bright and beaming
celestial body of this
and every universe

Day 22 (yea. like actually stiil truckin' re.lent.less)

"I don't think I have ever seen you do an ugly thing... ever"

In one week

it will have been one month

since I have heard from you

Immediate assumptions

draw such phrases

to romantic love

because no one

would ever want to imagine

neglect in a foundation

as sacred

as this one

Not wishing to speak

of apologies and guilt

You stay in silence

because there is nothing

else for you to say

A guilty conscious

makes for a guilty face

and who would want to be seen

as anything other than beautiful

especially a woman as effortlessly beautiful

as you

The truth is marring

and

You my dear,

A woman of my very heart

the one who,

not only knew where everything went

but also understood why I don't bother

to ever actually keep it organized,

You are what you believe

and from what you have shown

right now you only believe

in things you see

and I just happen to unfortunately

not be one of those things

A wise girl

with a smile the size

of my unsettled destiny

once said:

"Just because you've never seen me do anything ugly

doesn't make that the way it is"

But then again,

as this very poem shows,

you have always known

how to turn the ugliest things

Beautiful.

Minilik

I am scared of you

wide eyed

wider heart

love erect

unbroken back

"Outstretched arms

widening ribcage

and an exposed heart

all

so our souls can hold hands

and our life lines can overlap"

Unfortunately Hasani,

as beautiful as

I wrote you would be

Scared of you

just as I wrote I would be

meaning

I,

we

must be doing

something written

something

right

....

For those of us who

do and don't relate

and how hard it is

to tell the difference

these days

Women

speak of self hatred

in action

in silence

mumbling words

that make the beauty they leave behind

catch the world off gaurd

We don't hate ourselves

in ways that are easy to catch

Smiling at the things about how we feel

that are not okay,

but are commonplace

We have found

so many ways to do it

For the EDPA** on my floor

who mentioned she used to be a ballerina

and how I make assumptions

that I don't want to

because they maybe made about me

and someone may see

that they are mostly true

rationalizing

how and why

our faces

rather,

everything below them

will never be okay

sample sizes are easier in single digits

specifically ones with BIG HOLES in them

but dont hate yourself

because the fact that only one type of woman

can model things of beauty

doesnt mean you should make

any limiting correlations

For the men who will accept us

and how we will use it to feel

nothing less than dealt with

We are counting

counting on

counting numbers

on weights

on scales

boxes,

clothing

on clocks

instead of waiting

counting down

smaller, lower

towards

the day that

the weight of being

a sizably questionable pretty

will be lifted

and we will be light enough

to feel a little less heavy

with burden

Though we will never get the love we want

because we can't find it in ourselves

the chase...

the chase

will always feel a lot better

than the w(ai/eigh)t

**Eating Disorder Peer Advisor