Day 4

Safiyah Abisola Suara

My four year old Nigerian cousin

from Tennessee

is

a trouble maker of a willbe woman

I make a point to let her know

how beautifully Black she is

"I love

you

I love

Your chocolate face

I love

Your chocolate

everything

Your skin is sweet

Like you,

most of the time,

on good days....

when you aren't being bad"

She repeats the good parts

back to me

She is in her sponge faze

I am in my redemption one

Praying that

I can do anything

to prevent her from enduring

the same pain as the

notlightenough Blackgirl

that is still throwing shadows

on my skin has

She is only four

but

her mother has already taught her

that there's a difference

between colors and people

She has been taught that

to do anything attaching

them to each other

is the equivalent of a curse

Safiyah lives in Tennessee

Tennessee of hiatus and brooding beauty

a place I have gone for peace

a place that has taught me on rides

cutting through Mississippi

What it means to be Bl---

to be African American in this country

Or even to be an

African American

visiting Safiyah

playing in a baseball park with my brother

The first time either of us

have ever heard

any form of the word

"nigger"

hurled

at us

in the curve ball way

of derogatory meaning

One day

she will have to learn

what it means to be

a no longer

"Black" woman

in America,

which I must be,

Woman

the title she attaches to me

she says

simply

because of the size of my breasts

and the role

of a nuturer

she gives to me

when she is visiting

late nights

and cant sleep

or on long rides

around

my cities

when thats all she can do

She will learn

in ways that I can't teach her

When she grows up like me

and begins to drive

she will realize

The difference between

African American and Black

What it might mean to be either in Tennessee

Or even worse,

that

beyond its borders

and rigid boundries

Tennessee encompasses

alot more of the world

than we would want or

bother

to think